MAYOR ANGRY : TEENS BORED

Moenui District Council was today locked in an urgent strategy meeting aimed at limiting damage caused to the town by being named New Zealand's most boring.

The town easily won the title in an on-line poll run by the web-site "Rate my Teacher" which is currently surveying student opinions on a range of topics.
Moenui students described their town as "boring," really boring" and "dead-shit boring" at double the rate of other respondents. One Moenui teen wrote, "I am so bored I want to die. Please shoot me now."
Mayor Richard Hubbard was visibly upset when told the results of the poll. "By golly this has raised my blood pressure," he said. "Publishing this silly poll could damage the morale of the town and the local economy. For goodness sakes. All teenagers are bored. Either bored or overstimulated, and I know which I prefer."

Melodie-Ann Lewis who is chair of the Moenui Area School Student Council was excited by the poll result. "Wicked eh?" she said. "I mean Moenui is really out there now. There are millions of people who are now reading about little old Moenui. Who knows what this could lead to?"

Meanwhile local commentator Frank Lush, speaking from the Sports Bar of the Masonic Hotel said that in spite of the excitement the kahawai would continue to run for a few days yet.