Saturday, July 29, 2006


National Party Leader Don Brash has stunned an audience with revelations of booze binges. Speaking to the New Zealand Association for Migration and Investment Dr Brash revealed that he opposed an open-door immigration policy saying that "diversity is like red wine: a little is good for you but too much too quickly alters your personality and can be thoroughly bad."
Dr Brash went on to say that he was speaking from experience and "what's more flat Lion Red may not upset your stomach but the taste of it when consumed upon waking is enough to make you puke."
Dr Brash told the clearly shocked audience that while his life as a bachelor eating corned beef sandwiches was well known his drinking habits at that time were less publicised.
"Frankly living alone in that cold flat, drying my smalls in front of a one bar heater and working all day with economists plunged me in to a depression from which only alcohol could rescue me. They were trying times but I learned alot about life and alcohol. "
The audience were touched and Dr Brashes shared wisdom.
"Childhood is like a good martini," he said. "It is a complex mix of bitter and sweet and can be bruised if care is not taken in the strirring."
"Sauvignon Blanc is like a student flat in Grafton. It can be cheap but invariably smells of cats pee."
Dr Brash said that whenever he sips champagne these days he recalls election night 2005. "Early on the corks popped in anticipation of victory but by midnight the bubbles had gone and the champagne turned to an unsubtle chardonnay.

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