'LESBIAN FATHER' JIBE LEADS TO CRISIS

Police were last night involved in a tense stand-off with a ten year old boy after the heavily-armed lad named Luke, barricaded himself in his room upon learning that his father is a lesbian. The Moenui boy, who grew up on his uncle's farm in nearby Tatooine with his sister Leia is believed to be in possession of a number of fluorescent light-strips and an upright vacuum cleaner which the 'sensitive youngster' calls R2D2.

"It is so heart-breaking that Luke has learned the truth of his parentage this way," the boy's aunt Beru told the Kiwi Herald. "Poor Luke found out the truth from the Internet. I just hope those despicable people who published the photo of his Dad with the awful caption are satisfied! Obviously they have something against Luke's Dad but this way of attacking him is just not on."
Beru Lars went on to say that she hoped Luke's sister Leia would be spared the 'tacky details' about her father until she is old enough to understand but she thought that recent publicity about the existence of the on-line information "might make it impossible to protect our little princess from the the awful truth."

Meanwhile police who are camped outside the boy's home are appealing for help from an elderly friend and some-time mentor to young Luke.
"We believe that Abe Kenobi, sometimes known as Ben Kenobe may be able to persuade young Luke to come out," said Sergeant Frank Tawhai. "We'd like anyone who knows his whereabouts to get in touch with us." Mr Kenobi is described as a kindly gentleman with a love of family values.