Tuesday, October 31, 2006


Four Moenui teenagers appeared in the District Court yesterday charged with shop-lifting after they attempted to raise the Moenui 4 Square Store from it's current position on the corner of Parnell Street and deposit it in the harbour.

In evidence Constable Frank Tawhai said the only thing that prevented the successful commissioning of a major crime was the fact that the offenders underestimated the weight of the shop.
"I've not seen such an audacious and foolhardy attempt at crime since the Hoha brothers attempted to hold up the TAB back in '87," Constable Tawhai told the Court.
"On that occasion the TAB was shoulder height when the younger of the brothers lost his balance causing long-time TAB worker Madge Talthrop to fall across the electronic betting terminal and inadvertently place $204,000 on 'LateforLunch' in the 9th race."

Ms. Talthrop became Moenui's first millionaire as a consequence of the accident and surprised locals by marrying Fred Hoha who was twenty years her junior.

In the only other case to be brought before Judge D.B. Leattie yesterday a gang of three youths were charged with assault on rising shot-put star Kevin 'Kong' Tupaea. In evidence Tupaea said he was attacked on the way home from school by the 'bunch of nerds' who first taunted him because he could not recite from the Iliad and then pelted him with scrabble pieces. The case is continuing.

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