"FERNS WON'T CHOKE," SAYS COACH

Sedition Man found Guilty

A Moenui jury today found local activist Timothy Marsden guilty of sedition, ending a trial that has gripped this small seaside town.

Marsden who has waged a one man campaign against the compulsory micro-chipping of dogs faces up to two years in prison for distributing two handwritten notes in the Masonic Hotel sports bar. The notes called on other Moenui dog owners to follow his example after he staged a “piss-in” protest outside the Southbank Dog Licensing Authority office.

Local Constable and rugby captain Fred Tawhai said after the verdict that the trial had been a vindication of his strong stand against extremism.

“This is New Zealand after all” said Tawhai as he was carried on the shoulders of cheering supporters from the courtroom. “In our communities there is no place for terror and calls to terror.”

Tawhai gave evidence during the trial that he was called into town from his bicycle training session at Moehau School. Upon arriving at the Dog Licensing Authority Office he detected a strong smell of dog urine and noted several wet patches on the steps and even in the doorway of the office. He then noted Marsden’s truck outside the Hotel with four dogs on the tray. He arrested Marsden as the latter emerged from the Hotel and seized from him a third note and a packet of Tux dog biscuits.

In Court Marsden gave evidence that he had indeed taken his four dogs to the scene of the crime and allowed them to urinate on private property. He then went to the Masonic Hotel to distribute the notes.

The notes stated that “… the piss-inn signals that rural people are pissed off with this despotic government. As the dog pee flows so are our rights flowing away. We call upon all like-minded New Zealanders to take similar action to express their pissed-offedness!”

Marsden’s lawyer and Moenui Golf Club president J.B. “Brief” Long told “The Kiwi Herald” that an appeal would be lodged. “The jury has made a bad mistake. In the past the only people convicted of sedition in this country have been Maori rebels and conscientious objectors. For goodness sake Tim’s a dog lover.”