FIELD RUNNER-UP FOR AWARD

Taito Philip Field has been pipped for an award by a Moenui anti-drug activist who used her home to manufacture P. The anti-drug activist was yesterday named the inaugural recipient of the Graham Capill Award for Grand Hypocrisy. The newly launched award recognises and honours 'hypocrisy and dissembling of the highest standard which deceives the public to an extraordinary extent.'
This year's winner is Renae Stroobant, a 33 year old who lectures in her local community about the dangers of drugs but was recently convicted for the manufacture of methamphetamine.
In announcing the award the Reverand Harley Blowitt said that Ms Stroobant had beaten a strong field which included politicians and celebrities.
"She had plenty of competition but when we had to make a final choice Renae's bare-faced hypocrisy set her apart. It takes an exceptional person to sell themselves to the public as a guardian of public morality while privately manufacturing a class A drug for sale. In the end we simply could not go past this brave young woman. Had she not been caught Renae could well have gone on to become enjoy real celebrity status," said Rev.Blowitt.
The runner up prize went to 'friend of the underdog' Taito Philip Field. The judges' report described how the former MP had created a public persona of beneficience and humility, pretending to help the poorest and most vulnerable while actually exploiting them.
"Taito's feat is extraordinary," said Rev Blowitt. "His deceptive brilliance is such that he has the biggest majority in Parliament. He must be the envy of every politician. Even now aftrer his cover has been well and truly blown he gives the appearance of absolute piety."
Meanwhile the Head Judge of the award said that even though the nominees this year were of a high standard it would be a long time before the country would see hypocrisy to rival that of "the little master" who lead a moral crusade against sexual immorality while actually practicing paedaphilia.