'I'M NO HOOKER' SAYS COP

Moenui police constable Fred Tawhai is denying rumours that he has been 'moonlighting as a prostitute' saying there is "little call for uniformed blokes in the trade anymore."
Tawhai's denial follows media reports that a police officer has been censured for gaining secondary income through prostitution, but Tawhai agrees with the Deputy Police Commissioner who described sex-work and policing as incompatible.
"The days when a copper could earn a bit of beer money by standing on street corners with handcuffs and a truncheon muttering 'Hello, hello what have we here then?' are long past. Police are no longer held in the awe that they once were."
The popular constable says that he does however know of a number of police officers who gain secondary incomes from other jobs.
"It's not just about money either. Being a cop can be kind of isloating. People treat you differently. Sometimes you need to deal with people in a different role and a part-time job can provide that,"explained Tawhai. He said he knew of one policeman who was working part-time as an orthopaedic surgeon, another who augmented his income calling numbers at a housie hall and another one who danced with the Royal New Zealand Ballet.
For Fred Tawhai however, 'looking after the people of this little bit of paradise is a full-time job.'
Local commentator Frank Lush, speaking from the Sports Bar of the Masonic Hotel agreed that the local constable was 'pretty much twenty four seven' as the town's only policeman.
"The rumour was just bloody nonsense. A case of people with nothing better to do than spread gossip,"said Lush. "Fred's a first rate bloke who puts in many unsung hours for this town."
Lush said that the constable's only recreation was his rugby and attending weekly meetings of the Moenui Marvel Comics Club. "Fred's a real enthusiast. He started the club and he's the Chairperson. They reckon when he calls meetings to order dressed as Superwoman, Linda Carter herself thinks she's having an out of body experience."

Constable Tawhai and friend