IRANIAN LEADER CALLS NZ MP "GOOD JOKER"

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad today described National MP Bob Clarkson as a 'really good joker' and 'a laugh a minute.'
Responding to the Tauranga MP's comments that 'Islam religion-type people' who wore burqas 'could be crooks hiding guns and should go back to Islam or Iraq,' the President said that he had a good giggle when he read the comment and he was sure members of Islamic Jihad had also.
"No one could possibly believe that anyone with half a brain could make such comments except as a joke," said the President, "and quite clearly the New Zealand people would not elect a - how you say - a half-wit to represent them. Personally I haven't laughed so much since MP Bob told the one about impaling his left testicle on the barbed-wire fence."

The 'take me as you find me' Mr Clarkson made the statements to the Dominion Post and then eleborated on them when he hosted the 'Good Jokers Unite Night' in Upper Hutt a few days later. Before an adoring and jolly crowd of 'jokers' and 'the odd shiela,' Clarkson said that when he sees women in burqas walking down the street he wonders whether there could be a terrorist gang or a whole family of illegal immigrants hiding under the garment.
"Clearly allowing these so-called women to wear these tents is dangerous," said Clarkson, "Besides it's not the Kiwi way is it? Who ever heard of 'Burqas on Bikes?"
To a rising tide of laughter, applause and shouts of "Give it to 'em Bob," Clarkson turned his attention to the Government MPs, describing them as "liars, cheats and bloody crooks." He hastily withdrew a further comment that they were, "bum bandits, cross-dressers and assassins of businessmen," saying the terms had "slipped in there accidentally while I was in full voice."

Responding to a question from the floor about gay rights Clarkson said, "I've got nothing against homosexuals and lebanese as long as they're doing it in their own house. I'm with the Israelis on this one. Once they start to try and spread their preferences into other countries and kidnap normal heterosexual soldiers the Jews have to make a stand."
"Let me tell you if those homos try to ram it down my throat, look out," he said to shouts of "Bloody oath."
Mr Clarkson later refused to elaborate on what he meant by the statement telling the Kiwi Herald reporter to "keep it decent."

Meanwhile, Chris Finlayson, National's only gay MP, said he agreed with everything Clarkson had said and would be staying home in future.