Friday, August 11, 2006


A day after a genetic scientist announced that Maori carry a ‘Warrior gene’ another scientist has revealed that people of European descent are carriers of a gene that promotes caring. The gene which has been labeled ‘the gene of love’ pre-disposes those who have it to ‘be motivated by feelings of kindness and love of humanity.’
The brilliant Moenui scientist Joe Mengele, who specializes in the breeding of finches, has been ‘mapping the human genome as a hobby for about sixteen weeks’ made his claim when speaking on Radio Moenui to ace interviewer Katherine Ryan.
Mr Mengele told Ms Ryan that “historically the survival of Christianity was really down to the existence of the ‘gene of love’ in European peoples. They were predisposed to take on Christ’s teachings and take it to the world. In doing so they also shared with other peoples the benefits of Western technology and political economy.”
Despite the laser-like questioning of Katherine Ryan Mr Mengele was able to explain away apparent contradictions. “The horrors of colonialism, the slave trade and the apparent propensity of Europeans to indulge in genocide involving the death of millions even in the current century, can be explained as a hyperactive love gene. “As we all know you can have too much of a good thing, and too much caring can result in rogue behaviours. Dedication to socialism for instance is a consequence of caring for your fellow man to a dangerous level. Stalin cared deeply for the welfare of his people, so much so that he found it necessary to exterminate 30 million of them. The current booming sex slave industry in Europe is an indicator of a society that loves too much.”

Meanwhile the Kiwi Herald can report that in response to yesterday’s report that Maori are carriers of the ‘Warrior gene’ Cullen Sports has begun a ‘fire sale’of league players to English clubs and has signed an agreement with several iwi who will supply replacement players to the New Zealand Warriors franchise.


Jude the Obscure said...

At last, a satirist. A satirist who can write without effing and blinding. I thought satirists had gone the same way as smoking in pubs or all buggered off to Australia.

Petros said...

All satire aside, this issue of claiming genes are responsible for human behavior is a matter of biodeterminism, which is so rampant because of the desire among scientists to want to reduce behavior down to the effects of one gene when many other factors contribute to why any one individual acts violently or with compassion. See my blog for more on biodeterminism and the Maori people.