Wednesday, August 23, 2006


Moenui rugby coach Henry Graham has stuck to his season-long rotation policy, today selecting an all new team and crowd for saturday's match against Southbank. While the selection of a new team was unsurprising the order to replace the entire crowd with fresh lungs was described by one commentator as 'posssibly brilliant but probably an indication of mental instability.'
Henry, however, was unrepentant when he spoke to The Kiwi Herald.
"It's been a long season and a fair number of the crowd are jaded or carrying injuries after a stouch at last week's aftermatch. They would have found it hard to get up for this Saturday's game, especially since Rob at the Masonic hotel is having a birthday party Friday night."

Moenui (pop. 417) market gardener Leung 'the lettuce' Lee became the rotation policy's 403rd player of the season when veteran Rupert Thorne suffered a dizzy spell and had to withdraw when told he was to be rotated onto the team after a 60 year lay-off. The blind-side flanker was dropped from the team in 1946 when he famously vomited after the opposition wheeled the scrum.
An excited Leung Lee paused from dive passing cabbages to tell the Herald it was a great honour to become Moenui's first person of Chinese descent to play for the club and offered an ancient proverb to describe the significance of the event. Gazing across a sea of bak choy towards a mist-shrouded Rugby Park Lee said, "Always remember, with time and patience the mulberry leaf becomes a silk gown." When asked whether the saying had been passed down from his Chinese ancestors Lee replied that it was an old favourite of former all black coach John Mitchell.
The 1m 59 Lee was named at lock where it is believed his mathematical skills will be of great service.
"We've been hammered by refs all season for having too many or too few players in the line-out. We're confident the little Chinese fella will be quick at counting up and ordering the necessary adjustments," Henry said.
The Moenui team's record as they enter saturday's match reads : 15 played, 13 lost, 1 drawn, 1 match abandoned when groundsman's dog ran off with ball.

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