Tuesday, September 05, 2006

BRASH DECLARES NATIONAL GOVERNMENT IN EXILE

Don Brash announced the formation of a "National Government in exile" today after Helen Clark dismissed his calls for a fresh election as "grandstanding." Speaking from the main stand at Athletic Park Dr Brash said that his Party could no longer stand by "while Ms Clark and her band of thieves refuse to hand back the stolen election." The National Party would instead be vacating parliament and establishing it's own "People's Government" outside the Fish and Chip Shop in Kaiaua.
Dr Brash said that the idea of the alternative Government came when a delegation lead by Gerry Brownlee and Tau Henare came to his office saying that they regarded opposition as a hollow exercise while Bellamy's was not serving Fish and Chips for lunch because of the current gas outage.
"I ventured that I had some mexican corn chips and guacamole in the fridge leftover from Monday's caucus and Lockwood Smith, as sharp as a banker's pencil said, 'If we were in Mexico we would be setting up an alternative Government right now.' Next thing you know Tau, whose experience of Government is of it being a moveable feast, convinced us that we should set up our own Government and take it to the people, or at least where they gather for a feed. We are starting at the famous Kaiaua Fish and Chip shop and then on Thursday we will head off to the Happy Wok in Botany Downs where we will probably introduce a flat tax rate."
Dr Brash denied charges from Labour that he would be breaking bread with the Exclusive Bretheran in Hamilton saying that "even if it were true, which it most clearly is not it would be better than dining with the devil at Bellamy's."
Meanwhile a Kiwi Herald Poll has found that 81 percent of New Zealanders want Labour to pay back the $446,000 of taxpayer money the party spent on its pledge card. Most provided the Herald with their bank account details so the money could be returned by direct credit.

2 comments:

jon said...

Hey John, like your work here. Can you please drop me an email, I'd like to run an idea past you?

Cheers.
jon underscore knox at hotmail

Anonymous said...

No sorry guys, must do better.

Kiwk Herald constitutional expert insists:

Clarke should resign immediatly and never stand for election again

It's not the money; its the corruption.

Once you are corrupt, paying money back doesn't help at all