BROWN BROTHER TO BE INVESTIGATED OVER GIFTS

Moenui Country Councillor Peter Brown was defending himself today against charges of receiving gifts from constituents, saying that the light aircraft and Mercedes Benz delivered to his house this morning were Fathers Day presents.
Mr Brown who has a pet Labrador but no children, said that the gifts had come from constituents who regard him as a "father figure - and rightfully so."
"There are a lot of fatherless people out there in the community, people who have tragically lost their Dad or sometimes never known him. Hell, it's only natural that in their search for a dad-figure they turn to a leader and provider like myself."
Mr Brown reacted angrily to suggestions that accepting of gifts from constituents was not appropriate saying "It's always the Brown boys who get it in the neck isn't it? What about that skinny four-eyes bugger who leads the National Party. Jeez those scarf wearers gave him a million smackers in koha and what happenened? Bugger all that's what."
Local policeman Frank Tawhai told the Kiwi Herald that he would look into the matter of Mr Brown's gifts. Speaking from a Fathers Day Barbeque where he was enjoying a couple of crayfish supplied by grateful citizens the Constable commented that "I've arranged to meet with Mr Brown. We'll be taking a spin in the Cesna and I'll be asking him the hard questions."
The investigation into Peter Brown's activities follows an earlier police inquiry in 2005 when Mr Brown signed an original Colin Macahon with his own name and gifted it to a school fete. On that occasion the Councillor was cleared of intentional wrong-doing after he explained that "the picture was obviously one Col had dashed off when he was on the piss. Honestly it was just black and white shapes with a whole heap of words scrawled over it. He would have been embarrassed as hell to know that somebody was selling it. I put my name on it to cover for the miserable old joker."

UN Troops to occupy Grammar Zone

(Scoop from Kete Were)
As fighting continues in the disputed Grammar Zone of Aukland, the UN Security Council last night passed a motion to install a peace-keeping force in the troubled region. ...Read On