PARLIAMENTARY DAY TO BEGIN WITH BULLRUSH

A meeting between Parliament's speaker, whips from the major parties and Year 7 and 8 students from Moenui Primary has agreed that the instead of an opening parliament each day with a prayer, proceedings will kick of with a game of bullrush with Jerry Brownlee and Parekura Horomia in the middle.
The new measure is one of many designed to bring the House to order and make it more understandable for school children visiting the gallery.
"Bullrush is really good fun when the person in the middle huffs and puffs and and sweats alot," Year 7 student Eru Porotai told the Speaker during a school trip to Parliament this week. "I reckon Pare would be awesome. No one would get past him." The children agreed that "Miss Wilson" would have far less trouble with misbehaviour after a game of Bullrush. "Afterwards you're too tired to cause trouble. You just want to sit in class and draw doodles on the desk top," said Kay-Leigh Simpson.
Despite some resistence the whips also agreed to new seating arrangements designed to break up 'unruly groupings' in the House. Rather than being seated as Party groupings MPs will now be seated in several mixed ability groups chosen by the speaker. Group members will have the opportunity to come up with their own group names. Predictably Susan Kedgely's group is named the "Friendly Dolphins" and Peter Dunne's group "The Meercats." Some groups have borrowed their names from TV shows. A group featuring Jerry Brownlee and Hone Harawira has christened themselves "Bro-town" and another with Trevor Mallard, John Key and David Benson-Pope will go under the name of the "Fear Factors."
On the advice of the students, parliamentary misbehaviour will not result in offenders 'being sent from the House.'
"Being sent out isn't bad at all," Eru Porotai told the Herald "It makes you famouser and you get to play pool in Bellamy's." In future those who repeatedly misbehave will have to sit next to Peter Dunne.