Sunday, October 08, 2006


Rugby World Cup organisers were today locked in crisis talks after interest in next years event plummeted following Daniel Carter's hair-staightening, according to the Sunday Star-Times.
The All Black star turned out for Canterbury on Friday night sporting straight locks and immediately there was a drop-off in TV audience and numbers at the ground.
Grounds staff at the 'cake tin' in Wellington reported an exodus of pre-pubescent girls from the western stand while seasoned observors noted a surly silence from the large and usually enthusiastic gay fan-gathering who congregate near the players' tunnel.
Former All-Black and Wellington rugby icon Earl Kirton told the Sunday Star Times that 'things went awfully quiet when Dan ran onto the field, obviously without any product in his hair, and from then on the game was punctuated with a series of increasingly off-colour comments most of it to do with the state of the hair on other parts of the lad's body.'
According to Carter his mother was 'gutted' at her curl-less son, while underwear sponsor 'Jockey' has suddenly withdrawn from the lucrative deal it has with Carter.

Meanwhile a spokesperson for the Sunday Star Times has vehemently denied rumours that next week's edition of the paper will feature some news. "We are players in a very competitive market here," she said. "We cannot afford to risk offending readers."

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