DRINK LAWS MUST CHANGE

Moenui resident Dulcie Willis is calling on parliament to re-introduce the six o'clock closing of hotels and bars saying her husband's dinner has been in the oven since 1967 and if he doesn't arrive home soon she will have to throw it out.
"It's a lovely piece of porterhouse I got in specially," says Mrs Willis.

Tho popular woman, who is president of the local Country Women's Institute, supports current moves to raise the drinking age to 20 and believes that while they are about it "MP's can strike a blow for family life by bringing back the six oclock swill."

"Forty nine years ago a man would wobble home from the pub on his push bike and sit down with the family for a piping-hot plate of meat and two veg. He could be relied upon to give the young fella a good clip round the ears if that was what was required and then we would all sit down in front of the tellie to watch Coro or Gunsmoke. Hubby would contentedly doze off only to be woken by that lovely Marama Martin saying her farewells and the Goodnight Kiwi putting out the cat. These days I doubt half the men round here would even know that Ken Barlow's kids have turned out to be wastrills. They'd be lucky to recognise their own kids now they are stuck in the pub 'til all hours."

Mrs Willis says that in the days of the swill bars were sodden troughs but that longer hours had made them so comfortable men had no need to come home.

"The Masonic in town here was a complete pig-sty with sawdust an the floor and nowhere to sit. These days it serves food, has comfy seating, games to play and even TV to watch. No wonder I haven't sighted Bill for 49 years."