Sunday, November 26, 2006


In a development described as 'visionary' Gerry Brownlee is to stand aside as Deputy Leader of the National Party to make way for Georgina Te Heuheu.
Ms. Te Heuheu, who for several months has been mistaken by other caucus members as a member of the parliamentary cleaning staff, will be a 'key part' of new leadership's strategy to broker a deal with the Maori Party.
"Under Don, when the party-line was that 'real Maoris' didn't really exist we forgot about Georgina," an insider told the Kiwi Herald. "If we noticed her at caucus meetings at all we just assumed she was one of the brownish tea ladies or a late finishing cleaner. I remember on one occasion Gerry asking her if there were any more Tim-tams and another time Judith Collins offered her 'some pin-money doing a little ironing for her ainga."
"Always the polite one, Georgina said thanks but she didn't understand Samoan."

The same informant told the Herald that new strategists believe the National Party can only achieve Government in 2008 by becoming 'Maori friendly' and making a deal with the Maori Party.
"At an informal caucus someone commented that telling Hone Harawira he's not a proper Maori isn't working and then Lockwood suggested that we promote someone with a really good sun-tan to a leadership role."
"When Tau Henare cleared his throat everyone kind of looked panicked and then in walked the 'tea lady' apologising for being delayed by visiting constituents. Suddenly old Clem Simich looked up from reading the order paper and suggested that the former Minister of Maori Affairs was an ideal candidate for Deputy Leader and pretty soon, everyone was agreeing it was a brilliant stroke."
Gerry Brownlee apparently agreed to standing aside when Ms. Te Heuheu promised that he could accompany her to Marae where 'a cracking good feed is always assured.'
Meanwhile a last minute change of name by deed-poll for Katherine Rich has failed to gain the support she needed for the Deputy's job. Many thought that Katherine Moderately-Well -Off sounded even less friendly to the average voter than her previous name.
The Herald understands that Don Brash has agreed to stay on in the shadow cabinet as spokesperson on Asian and other Affairs. It is believed that once National is in Government the former leader will be appointed Ambassador to the Vatican.

1 comment:

Cactus Kate said...

Is that a photoshopped photo of Georgie?

I mean, she looks 100 years old.