Tuesday, November 21, 2006


VATICAN CITY - God issued a brief press release yesterday explaining that he did not attend the wedding of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes because he feared his presence would turn the ceremony into a media circus. Many God watchers interpreted his absence as a snub because he is offended by sham marriages between Catholic women and movie stars outside the church.

God's statement insists, however, that his absence was motivated simply by a desire not to infringe on the couple's privacy. In addition, the statement noted, God's decision should not be interpreted as payback for Mr. Cruise' snub of God's mother, Oprah Winfrey, who was not invited to the wedding.

"Nevertheless," Vatican insiders whisper "there was no way the big guy was going after he heard L. Ron Hubbard's seat at the wedding table was closer to the groom's than his."

In other reports from the wedding guests were "strongly advised" to arrive two hours prior to the ceremony in order to give themselves time to freshen up after being strip searched. Cell phones and cameras were be confiscated, and guests' hands stamped with an image of a L. Ron Hubbard.
Guests who left the reception hall, were not readmitted.

By Chip Hilton
Reprinted from The Pugbus http://www.pugbus.net/

1 comment:

shane said...

what, no oprah! how dare they.