Wednesday, December 20, 2006


One in 10 children are troublesome at school because they are 'caught in a cognitive cul-de-sac and incapable of doing a three-point-turn' according to Massey College of Education researchers Dr John Kirkland and Dr David Bilmer. The pair came up with the explanation for school failure while checking the points and plugs on their jointly owned Mazda RX8.

"It came to us almost simultaneously," said Dr Kirkland. "The failure of the car to function properly because of dirty plugs and points mirrors the problems of so-called difficult kids. So many children suffer cognitive dissonance because of a difficult home life. Simply put their brains become clogged with the stresses and garbage of modern living preventing them from showing initiative, asking questions and processing information in the usual way."

But the researchers have a possible solution to the problem - restarting the brain so children regain their passion for learning.

"We've found that vigorous application of a wire brush to the cranial area of most children does the trick. In fact a significant number of children will suddenly become quite inquisitive immediately you approach them with a torque wrench."
Such "stalled children" suddenly start to ask questions like "What the hell is that for?" and "Can I use that thing to turn up the volume on my ipod?"

No comments: