FLOOD RELIEF PACKAGE 'LIKE XMAS'

A flood relief package for the recently ravaged North announced today by Civil Defence Minister Rick Barker is being keenly anticipated by Moenui residents.

The large plain brown paper package is believed to contain a signed photograph of Team NZ members in sunny Valencia and a CD of a Libretti composed especially by NZ artist Stuart Hoare who is currently enjoying a French summer as the Catherine Mansfield fellow. The Libretti, entitled "Drowning in Sunshine" is described as being 'uplifting in a smug kind of way.'
"This will be a real pick-me-up," craft shop owner Dot Cossey told the Herald. "A parcel from Mr Barker will be such a relief. It will be just like Xmas."

Also included in the package is free entry to the District Convention of Jehovah's Witnesses which boasts a section on "dealing with life's difficult problems."

That "just sounds made-to-order for us," said Mrs Cossey.

Meanwhile sources close to Cabinet say that at the eleventh hour Government abandoned plans for 100 lucky recipients of the package to receive a personal phone-call from Conservation Minister David Benson-Pope in which he would "provide encouraging advice about future prospects."