"FERNS WON'T CHOKE," SAYS COACH

POWER FAILURE MAY NOT HAVE BEEN THAT BAD

Some commentators are questioning claims by President of the Employers and Manufacturers Association, Alasdair Thompson that Moenui businesses lost “around a trillion dollars” during last weeks power outage.

“It simply does not add up,” said local analyst and Masonic Sports Bar regular Frank Lush. “I know for a fact that the Four Square Store does not come within a bull’s roar of a hundred million dollars a week in turnover. I know too that punters at the Masonic went from tapped to bottled beer when the pumps went down so the losses here would not have been great.”

Thompson has countered however that a number of unknowns have not been factored in by his critics. He says that the town’s other business “Dot’s Crafts and Preserves” was also adversely affected when the lights went out. Not only did purchases fall off drastically but Dot has reported the theft of several jars of Tamarillo chutney during the murky five hour period.

“People are also forgetting that the day the power failed was benefit day, but very little of that money made it into the economy. I know for a fact that sales of TV dinners, cigarettes and Lotto tickets dropped because the unemployed stayed home.”

Meanwhile County Mayor Dick Hubbard has continued to say that the blackout has given the town a “third world status.”

“This morning I spoke to rest-home owner Aroha Hohaia and she tells me that two days in a row old Anjit Ghandi has woken thinking he is back in the Punjab.”

Some locals say Bono has been seen talking with the Mayor