$320m COULD BRING WORLD CUP TO MOENUI

In an announcement that has stunned the community, the Moenui Domain groundsman Rob Fisher yesterday released a $320 million plan to transform the town reserve into a world class sports facility. The announcement, which was made from the Fisher’s ride-on tractor, brought gasps of excitement and then applause from an invited audience.

Original plans for a domain upgrade had been costed at around $3200 but Fisher said that the time was ripe to make a bold investment in the future.

“Sure we are a town of only 475 people, but what a special town and what special people we are. This is a one-off opportunity to create a legacy for future generations. Our children deserve the best rugby and cricket facility that money can buy, one that is truly world class.”

The upgraded Domain will seat 60,000 spectators with the field encircled by a giant water feature that will emulate an emormous Mexican wave during the boring bits. “The water feature will be truly world class,” Mr Fisher said.

The long-time groundsman believes that Government and corporates will come in behind the plan when they realise that the facility will be available as a back-up ground for Rugby World Cup Games in 2011. “It’s a new concept at the top level but back-up grounds are common at lower grades,” said Fisher. “Just listen to the cancellations on radio on a Saturday morning. They are always re-scheduling games to other grounds. Imagine being able to shift a test-match from Jade Stadium when they have a pea-souper, or when Auckland has another week of torrential rain. Here in the winterless north there’ll be corker weather guaranteed.”

Locals were quick to support the plan. 14 year old Melodie-Ann Lewis said she couldn’t wait for the World Cup to come to Moenui and she and a group of mates had already started working on a cheer-leader routine. “I know it’s not definite yet but this could be our big chance,” she said. Her boyfriend Mike “eminem” Moore thought it was a ‘choice idea.’
“I reckon this could put Moenui on the map. I was looking for Moenui on the globe in class the other day and there was no sign of it.”

Meanwhile local commentator Frank Lush, speaking from the Sports Bar of the Masonic Hotel said, “Rob Fisher is a world class bloke. He’s always been a visionary. I don’t know what it is he smokes as he trundles that mower up and down all day but it sure seems to work.”