NCEA ROBS STUDENT OF WILL TO LEARN

Moenui teenager Mike ‘Eminem’ Moore today slammed NCEA claiming that when the new qualification was introduced he lost the will to learn. “Yeah Nah,” said ‘Eminem’ “As soon as they brought in that NCEA I just was prepared to be really average.”

Mike’s mother Eva agreed. “Michael was always such an inquisitive kid, always asking
why and how come, but since NCEA came on the scene he never asks any questions
except ‘Why do I have to go to that suck-ass school.”
She said that she worried that he unquestioningly adopted the fashions of hip-hop
culture and rap music. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard him ask anything about the
historical and socio-cultural significance of hip-hop.”

Moore's girlfriend, 14 year old Melodie-Ann Lewis was asked by the Herald whether
she had ever heard ‘Eminem’ wonder aloud, “What effect is the appropriation and
exploitation of hip-hop forms by the media and the music industry having on the
ideological discource in authentic hip-hop milieaux?” After a short silence
Ms Lewis said she had not. 

Melodie-Ann, who chairs the Moenui Area School Student Council, said that she
knew ‘heaps’ of students who had been ‘robbed of their youth’ and their will to
‘achieve greatness’ by NCEA. “I know lots of excellent kids who have just got really
mediocre. Like it’s school holidays now and they’re all just … on holiday,” said
Melodie-Ann. 

Meanwhile Moenui school Principal Hone Morris said that NCEA needed a major
overhaul.
“From where I stand, which is currently overlooking the magnificent Mt Hutt ski-field,
NCEA stops high achievers wanting to achieve. The only reason we know they
are high achievers is because they sometimes tell us they are or they are from
Asian backgrounds.” 

Mr Morris went on to say that design flaws in the NCEA meant that students lost
their natural inclination to “attempt to answer really difficult questions rather than the
easy ones and study really hard subjects like bio-chemistry and Russian.”

The Principal said however that, "there is evidence that the 80-credit requirement encourages a minimalist approach by students which tends to work very well with some of the schools design students.”
Meanwhile local Commentator Frank Lush, speaking from the Sports Bar of the Masonic Hotel said that reports that students found the NCEA “illogical and unfair” suggested the authorities had finally come up with a qualification system that mirrors life.

Mike 'Eminem' Moore talking to the Herald