'GIVE US THE MONEY,' SAY LEADERS

A group of really important brown people have volunteered to manage the affairs of poor brown people in a move that has been hailed as “jolly good” and “about time” by some really important white people. The group, headed by a former MP has suggested that the welfare benefits of poor people be paid directly to their organisation because “Dem po’ brown folks ain’t got no idea what to do wid dem dollars.”

Speaking to an adoring media including Moenui’s Kiwi Herald the former MP said that people who wore expensive suits were better suited to manage money.

“We didn’ get to wear great threads, flash the bling and walk the halls o’ the big house by accident,” he said. “On the other han’ them po’ brown folks jus spen’ they money on corn whiskey an’ playin’ the numbers.”

Some Moenui beneficiaries expressed relief that at last some rich folks were ready to take over their responsibilities.

“Shucks Boss,” one anonymous person told the Herald, “We jus’ can’t wait for someone else to count dem coins. They far too many dollars fo’ us to handle. We jus’ too feckless and can't help but watch “Once Were Warriors” over an' over again."