Thursday, July 06, 2006


The number of registered unemployed people living in Moenui fell to an all-time low yesterday. The incident occured when local unemployed man Rob Willing fell from his bicycle and had to be shifted on to a sickness benefit. Mr Willing, speaking from the Moenui Hospital where his condition is described as being "another burden on the health system," said he had been knocked from his bicycle by a group of age-beneficiaries.
" It was a bloody cluster of them acting like they owned the main street. They were rushing to get on to the pokies at the Masonic Hotel and just bowled me like I was Bangladeshi tail-ender. No 'beg your pardon's or 'Oh dear I'm sorry I've just taken out your leg-stump' they just charged on with their eftpos cards raised high. "
Mr Willing, who lives alone and has been on the unemployment benefit for 27 years, describes himself as an unemployed writer seeking a publisher for his biography entitled "A Little Bit of Hard Work Never Did Me Any Harm!"
Meanwhile local commentator Frank Lush, speaking from the Pokies Room at the Masonic Hotel, said that the record low for unemployment was great news for the town.
"The more sick people we can get in this town the longer those buggers in Wellington will continue to fund our local hospital," he said.
Mr Lush said he had visited Rob Willing in hospital and had suggested that the well known loner join a club.

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