OPEN SEASON ON BENEFICIARIES CLOSED

The Conservation Department today announced an early end to the open season on beneficiaries saying that stocks had been seriously damaged by an unusually
enthusiastic hunt.
Moenui Conservation CEO Tony Swann said that there was a danger that a continuation of the season might have a deleterious effect on the long-term sustainability of the time honoured sport.
Swann said that a particularly enthusiastic season had resulted in beneficiaries going to ground or even developing hostile behaviours. "Unfortunately a minority of people have been taking more than their share of shots and spoiled the fun for the rest of us. There have also been reports of widespread bagging of undersized beneficiaries."
He said that the decision to close the season had been made reluctantly.
"Beneficiary bashing is a great Kiwi tradition going back well over a hundred years. Hard working kiwi families have always enjoyed firing the odd salvo at beneficiaries particularly when they have appeared in clusters."
Mr Swann said that he too had fond childhood memories of the sport.
"I remember as just a wee chap getting up early of a misty winter's morning with my Dad and big brother and throwing rocks onto the tin roofs of local dole-bludgers. There was nothing to match the thrill of following up with a volley of self-righteous abuse when the buggers came out half-dressed and bleary eyed looking to see who'd woken them up."