Sunday, July 09, 2006

SHARPLES, TAMAKI, TAMIHERE IN SURPRISE REVELATIONS



When Maori Party co-leader Pita Sharples was named the "Kaumatua of the Nation" in the Sunday Star Times last week a number of Moenui Maori expressed surprise. "I thought that fella Richard Long was the Kaumatua,"several locals told the Kiwi Herald. "You know the one married to Judy Bailey, the "Mother of the Nation,"
The Sunday Star Times revealed that Dr Sharples is in fact the Kaumatua of the Nation after Sharples visited the house where the Kahui twins are alleged to have died. Sharples was ignored by the residents of the house and asked to leave.
Moenui resident Ani Tupaea said that she understood how the embarrassing mistake was made. "Personally if he had turned up in my lounge uninvited I wouldn't have known he was the main man either. I reckon I would of thought he was just some old guy with a bad haircut."
Meanwhile the Christian Weekly Chronicle is expected to announce this week that it has irrefutable evidence that Brian Tamaki is the "Maori Messiah," and Cosmopolitan magazine will run a semi-nude photo feature on John Tamihere. The Article entitled "Tamihere: The full Monty," is expected to create a flurry of interest. Editor of the Cosmopolitan Mia Freedman
said the concept of the article came from a feature of the same name in Investigate.
"Like that article I expect this one to raise temperatures. We know there will be alot of interest. After all, if the kaumatua-fantasy of white males is Pita Sharples, John Tamihere is every red-blooded front-bums bit of chocolate rough."




Dr Sharples speaking to the press after his true identity was revealed

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