Friday, July 07, 2006


Moenui, the little town which holds the "Best Kept Grass Verge Award" yesterday adopted a policy of "zero tolerance." Announcing the bold step yesterday Mayor Richard Hubbard said the time had come to make a stand, "and by golly we in Moenui are siezing that time."
Speaking to a cheering crowd outside the Council offices, and flanked by the local Constable and the Chair of the Country Women's Institute, Mr Hubbard orated, "We have put up with too much for too long. We have given an inch and been taken for a mile. Now let the word go forth from this time and place, to friend and foe alike, that a torch has been lit, a burning beacon of absolute intolerance."
The mayor explained that in future no-one in the town should feel the need to suppress feelings of distaste at the behaviour and beliefs of others. "If you don't like it, don't tolerate it. Not even one percent. Those things which we find anathema must not be countenanced."
After the Mayor's speech excited supporters marched up the main street chanting, "Zero zero, Richard is our hero," until they were dispersed by the police baton charge.
Meanwhile Hubbard's expected opponent in next years Council elections Marjorie 'Kiwi' Banks said the zero tolerance stand was 'playing with numbers' and promoting a 'nothing concept.'
"Be assured that when I am elected I will come down on these people much harder than the current Mayor," said Mrs Banks.
Local commentator Frank Lush said that the thought of the 160kg Mrs Banks coming down on anyone was truly frightening. Asked how he thought the "Zero Tolerance" policy would succeed, Lush said that he did not think locals would put up with it for long.

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