Friday, September 01, 2006


Drinking star Sonny Faumuina has been dropped from the Moenui Sponges Drinking Team after yet another outburst of football-playing shocked team-mates and spectators alike.
Faumuina who is famed for his free-flowing and 'almost instinctive' style of drinking that helped his team to the National Inter-Pub Grand Final just a few years ago, was sacked by Manager Ivan "the Terrible" Cleary when the star attempted to drop-kick barman 'Bouncy' Ball between the Chivas Regal and Famous Grouse during a drinking match against the visiting Willerton Swillers.
Despite promises to "give the football away" and a period of counselling, Faumuina has been unable to beat his some-time habit of side-stepping around rows of barstools and intercepting drinks ordered by other patrons.
"Frankly it is bloody annoying," said an exasperated Cleary when spoken to by the Herald. "After the first couple of times you get pissed off with being 'bundled into touch' every time you get close to the door of the gents. We are going to be sorry to lose Sonny from the team but everyone has had a gutsful of him defending the bar with his bone crushing tackles and having their attempts to get away a quick pint charged down."
Faumuina's drinking career will be remembered for his signature one-handed attacks on lines of beers and his love for the cheeky off-load. He joins a long list of prodigious drinkers whose passion for rugby has damaged their careers.

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