MADONNA TO ADOPT KIWI CHILD

Madonna was last night on her way to New Zealand in the hope of adopting a child from McGehan Close. The star, who famously adopted a Malawian child recently, is believed to be one of several overseas celebrities who have been inspired to adopt "a poor little brown child like the one National Party leader John Key has adopted."
An obviously delighted Mr Key appeared at Waitangi yesterday with 12 year old Aroha Ireland at his side. He had apparently gained agreement from the girl's parents to rescue her from the 'deadend' of McGehan Close in a desperate attempt to break the cycle of hoplessness her family is caught in.
The girl's mother told the Kiwi Herald that she "thought the bike we bought Aroha for xmas was pretty flash but when I saw John Key turn up in the government limo I agreed it was hopeless. I'm just stoked now that Aroha is going to join the overclass at Waitangi."
Many visitors to the Waitangi celebrations commented that they thought Mr Key and Aroha looked lovely together though some enquired whether there was any truth to the rumour that the girl was Mr Key's new wife from Singapore.

Not all locals were happy however. One disgrunted local said the sight of politicians with children on their arms reminded him of the time Titiwhai Harawira dragged the Prime minister around Waitangi a few years back 'like she was a toi moko - a preserved tattooed head.'

Meanwhile Kiwi Herald investigations are unable to confirm whether Woody Allen was sighted a McGehan Close yesterday seeking to adopt a young Asian girl.