News too good to be true from Moenui (Pop. 421) current holder of The Northern Region Best Kept Grass Verge Award
Thursday, March 22, 2007
BUSH PANICS UNDER PM'S STARE
President George W Bush this morning achieved an 'achieved' in NCEA level one Geography during a tough oral examination under the stealy gaze of Prime Minister Helen Clark who acted as supervisor. A clearly panicked President (see picture above) appeared to be thrown by the withering stare of the New Zealand PM but managed to remember a number of places on the international map. Remembering to mention the South Pacific 'where Hawaii Five O is,' seemed to clinch a favourable result, bringing a hint of a smile to the lips of the supervisor. White House circles later commented that Mr Bush had heard tales of Ms Clark's disciplining of members of her own Government and was 'feeling a little nervous before the test but went into a bit of a panic when the Prime Minister mentioned that the anti-smacking bill had not become law yet.'
Silver Ferns coach Julie Aitken today said that the Silver Ferns would not 'choke' in the World Champs and revealed that management had taken to pre-chewing and regurgitating all player food in an effort to end the "choking epidemic" by NZ teams in big events.
New research suggesting New Zealand was under water until 23 million years ago have been rubbished in Northland. Moenui farmer Ossie MacDonald says the claims are "complete bloody nonsense" and "typical of the tripe dished out by those pointy-headed buggers at the University."
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