KIWI MUMS AND DADS GET IN LAST FEW SLAPS

Most Moenui children reported receiving 'a good thrashing' on Wednesday as parents 'got in a last few licks' before smacking was outlawed under anti-smacking legislation.
Area School Principal Hone Morris said that most children arrived at school saying that Mum and Dad had given them 'a good larruping while thay still had the chance.'
"Many kids said that Dad had given them a real paddling even though they were behaving perfectly, saying that part of being a Kiwi was to experience 'a hiding they would never forget.
According to Mr Morris many children were unable to sit during assembly and a large number we re incapable of writing having received 'an inordinate number of smacks on the hand over the past 24 hours as parents attempted to dissuade their children from 'ever pushing a fork into an electric plug, touching a hot-plate or indulging in heavy petting with the low-lifes next door.'
Moenui political analyst Godbur Roberts told the Kiwi Herald that the outbreak of 'correction and discipline' in the community 'seems to be part of a wider international trend toward use of the pre-emptive strike. In other words hit while you can.'
Meanwhile local ruddy-faced barfly Angus McLagan, who is routinely described as having 'a face like a slapped arse' today came out in support of the Bradford Bill, saying that he would be 'taking time out from public life and drinking at home until such times as the law is accepted by the community.'