UNDERCLASS TELL POLITICIANS TO STAY AWAY

Residents in McGehen Close in Moenui were today pleading that gangs of marauding politicians leave them alone. The calls came after National Party leader John Key identified the "dead end street" as one the Prime Minister should join him in visiting.

"Please stay away," said Will Ilolahiah "It is tough enough bringing up kids here without these gangs of the over-class turning up to stage their turf wars. Let them do it in their own streets I say. They're a bad influence. Already we have impressionable kids here picking up on John Key's suggestions about what makes you underclass. Just last night someone smashed some rungs on my step ladder and then tried to smoke my neighbours P class yacht. The thing's completely buggered."

Meanwhile local residents expressed anger that the Prime Minister had described the 'underclass' as shrinking.

"That's bloody nonsense mate. She should stick to talking about her own," one man told our reporter. "Look at who makes up the scrum of the school first fifteen. It's our boys. Those skinny white kids from the posh streets don't get a look in."

Locals Say "No" to Rich Neighbours

Moenui residents and their MP have spoken out in opposition to plans to build high cost housing in the township. Housing developers yesterday unveiled plans to build two quality homes on the disused refuse station that overlooks the mangrove swamp but locals voiced their opinions at an impromptu gathering yesterday.
At the Sports Bar of the Masonic Hotel residents cheered on MP John Key when he called the development plan "vandalism."
"This development will create an architectural and aspirational dissonance in our town that could destroy our way of life," said the hugely popular Key. "The special character of our town will be destroyed by these monstrosities with their on-suites, indoor-outdoor flow and Feng Shui."
Locals at the bar echoed the MP's sentiments. Regular visitor to the Masonic Hotel, Frank Lush said that the town's kerbs would not cope with an influx of Rav 4s and Pajeros and he feared a time when Lion Red would be replaced by Stella Artois on tap. He also was worried that house prices might begin to rise in the town. " My rent is high enough as it is," he said.

Mother-of-three KeyLeigh Brown expressed concern about the influence of children from wealthier homes on Moenui youngsters. "I've got nothing against rich kids per se but I would hate to see their ways rubbing off on our own." She was particularly wary of the influence of teenagers from weathy homes. "I've seen them on TV," she said. "I ask you: would you want your kids associating with Paris Hilton?"

Meanwhile opposition housing spokesperson Dot Blackforth decried Key's opinions as "disgraceful."
"There is no reason why wealthy folk should not be able to live in poor areas. Why should they be bundled off to the cultural deserts of Remuera and Fendalton- out of sight and out of mind?"

Moenui residents fear homes for the wealthy will not fit in.