Seven year old Eric Lewis announced today that his First Playground Bank has achieved record profits in the last six months. The boy who began by investing lunch-money on behalf of classmates and moved on to establish the country's first 'Cash for Good Behaviour' scheme, insuring schools against student misdemeanours during ERO visits, made his CEO report while receiving Moenui school's prize for financial literacy.
Eric who is in the top maths group and owns his own calculator, told the special school assembly that as from next week the Principal's office would become the new First Playgroud Bank HQ, after a bail-out deal was negotiated with the financially-troubled Teachers' Social Club. Eric said the measure would give his Bank access to national school records thereby assisting "Playground's march towards globalisation." The assembly burst into prolonged applause when Eric said that the bail-out deal gave the Bank perpetual rights to place 'farty cushions' on teachers chairs before assembly.
In an exclusive interview over milk and vegemite sandwiches Eric outlined to the Kiwi Herald a series of recent promotions that have helped grow his business.
"People have good fun with the jigsaw puzzle bank statements and the 'pass-the-parcel revolving debt scheme' is an old favourite. But I was surprised that there was not much interest in my No Interest Loans promotion.
Meanwhile Eric's sister 14 year old Melodie-Ann Lewis told the Herald that "living with a 7 year old business tycoon is truly weird. He has got a 'Dragon's Den' sign on the door of his room wakes us all with the Business Report blaring and keeps telling us how bullish he feels. He's seven for God's sake. He doesn't even know what bulls do."
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